A Poem - Powers Much Greater

It's OK if I act with fear
I didn't ask for it
I don't deserve harm
I act with a mix of fear and courage
And learn in time
How to act more in courage
Courage is great
Life is great
Great river
Safety isn't wrong
Do what you can to preserve
AND to live
Safety and change
These miracle powers much greater than you will sweep you
You are safe, I think
Keep trusting the spark
Keep asking
Spark hears...Spark will answer

BDSM, Child Abuse and God the Master

Before you read this, you must be warned. This is not a blog post. It's actually two or three posts rolled into one. This post is about a relationship with a Higher/Deeper/Greater Power, love, gratitute, submission and surrender. It's also about child abuse, guilt, shame, gender politics, warped sexuality, and masochism. And then you include the chanting.

Sleep - A Daily Sabbath

In the last month, I've been adjusting to sleeping with contraption that makes me look a little bit like Darth Vader. It's called a CPAP machine, or a continuous positive airway pressure machine. I've also been adjusting to the idea of "sleep hygiene".

Mary Magdalene, Holy Hooker

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about the symbolism surrounding Mary Magdalene's hair color. But I knew I had more to write; I want to share my thoughts on Mary herself. It's not surprising, given that Mary Magdalene is  a fascinating biblical figure that has stayed in public consciousness for about two thousand years.

I was raised in a Jewish home, and it was only around the age of twelve or thirteen that I began to learn more about Christianity. At some point, I learned about Mary Magdalene. First, I learned that she had been a prostitute saved by Jesus. Soon, I started to hear snippets about Mary Magdalene as an ancient Goddess figure and High Priestess defamed by "The Patriarchy" (which is to feminists what "The Man" is to African-Americans).  And finally, as Jesus' wife and possible divine consort.

A Poem - I Know My Beloved Is Here

Dear [insert higher/deeper power(s) of choice],

I ache I ache
I ache so often I ache.
I know you are here
I keep reminding myself you are here
the terrifying submission
I fight or is it
surrender whatever
the terrifying servitude
I fight
my lips curl in a sneer
so worthless
I long to destroy my evil self
my serving self
my rebellious self