After Troy Davis' Execution, Before Rosh Hashanah

I haven't updated about the Troy Davis execution/murder-lynching because I just... have no energy to write about it. Troy Davis was killed Wednesday, September 21, 2011. I wish my thoughts could go more towards compassion than vengeance. I know an eye for an eye leaves everyone blind.

Lori Almost Live : Racism in the Jewish Power Structure and Tisha B'Av

I watch Lori Almost Live, a weekly vlog (video-blog) found on Aish.com (you know, the organization I blasted last week for dishonest Jewish evangelism?). I have to say I find Mrs. Lori Palatnik mesmerizing. I don't always agree with her views, and find a good many disagreeable. However, I tune in every week to watch her. Why? I don't know. Maybe because she's shiny, polished...and has a home. She seems to feel at peace with her belief in Judaism. I wish I could believe as she does. But I don't. I feel my eyes are open too wide, no matter how I wish I could keep them almost shut and see only enough to make me feel Judaism has all the answers and is my "home".

Havdalah For Mamzer HaKodesh

Havdalah is the Jewish ritual performed at the end of Shabbat, the holiest and most auspicious day of the Jewish week. It is therefore fitting to call this the havdalah post of Mamzer HaKodesh. This blog is, unfortunately, now defunct. 

This blog has been a way for me to express the internal struggle of my spiritual journey, and I may still post periodically or return to regular blogging in the future. However, the blog Mamzer HaKodesh  has now served it's purpose. I continue to be fascinated by arcane Jewish ritual, odd bits of Judeo-Christian religious history, legend and other curious trivia. I am not, however, fascinated enough to cast aside other projects I am currently undertaking.  Thank you to everyone who took the time to read it. It was my pleasure to engage you.

Passover Insights : Slave Mentality and Blaming the Victim

We are in the final stretch of Passover week, and I've been thinking about the basic holiday themes - miracles, faith, and courage - especially courage.  As I understand it, courage is the willingness to do the right thing even when you are afraid to do it. I've felt for a long, long time that I am a person with little courage. Many people have told me they think of me as courageous, because I'm willing to admit and talk about things they might be too scared to. But the things they see as courageous aren't that difficult for me. I've always been bold.

Passover and Harriet Tubman, The Black Moses

Passover will arrive in just under 24 hours (where I live), and time is of the essence. There are many places you can go to find funky, alternative seders and traditions. I wish I had time to give a significant list of links. But since I don't, I'm going to focus on Moses. Specifically, the Black Moses. You know, the woman.

Green Esther

Just wanted to share a drawing I did last week inspired by the theme of Purim. The hair color was a happy coincidence.

8 Interesting Facts About Purim

This weekend, the Jewish calendar turns to the Purim festival. Purim is a trickster holiday in that it is a time of jokes, riddles, masks and merriment. While not everyone celebrates Purim or even knows about it, it is a fairly popular holiday. I myself celebrated Purim as a child in Hebrew School and knew that it related to the biblical book of Esther, but I was not aware of the rich symbolic and mystical traditions and legends surrounding it. I also did not have the opportunity to explore the biblical and scholarly texts with the feminist and renewalist perspective I do today. So to help you celebrate Purim, here are 8 interesting Purim facts for your pleasure!

Sleep - A Daily Sabbath

In the last month, I've been adjusting to sleeping with contraption that makes me look a little bit like Darth Vader. It's called a CPAP machine, or a continuous positive airway pressure machine. I've also been adjusting to the idea of "sleep hygiene".

Hanukkah, Inner Light, and Positive Action

Hanukkah is over; all that is left behind are reflections about the significance of the holiday. I want to take a few minutes to talk about my experience with Hanukkah.

I really saw the beauty of the Hanukkah lights for the first time last year. I used those small, multi-colored twisted ones that my family's used for as long as I can remember. I just looked at the colors and flames. Seeing those candles burn looked beautiful to me. I think of holidays as a time for rituals and actions. But I didn't do anything special. I just looked.

Blog Update

When I started this blog, I wanted to offer unique perspectives that would help others on their spiritual journeys. I have been helped tremendously by learning from other sites and blogs on the web, and wanted to offer the same.

My First Jewish-Renewal Yom Kippur

So this past Yom Kippur, I had the privilege of attending a Jewish Renewal Yom Kippur sponsored by the Chavurahs of "Har Kodesh" and Mile End. We used the Ukranian Federation building, which was a synagogue decades ago when Mile End was a more predominantly Jewish neighborhood. I mean, it still is Jewish, but now it's mostly Hasidim.

Random Traffic Checks... For Jewish Identity

So it was Friday night, and having eaten a pre-Yom Kippur meal with my family, I'd headed over to a meeting. I had just reached the cafe where my pals and I were going to hang out. As I was locking up my bike I ran into an old neighbor of mine. He introduced me to his girlfriend, and that is when she realized that she was a close friend's colleague. Small world.

Jewish Renewal, Yom Kippur, Montreal...

This week, I was preoccupied with learning new job-skills and navigating an ever-expanding work-week. Which is good, because Hashem, Jesus, and Hathor the ancient Egyptian cow-mother Goddess know I NEED the work.

Whenever I start something new and challenging, I panic. And sometimes, I panic all day long. You see, sometimes I decide to cash a check the day before I have an important bill to pay, inconveniently forgetting that the bank will hold any deposited amount in excess of $200 for five business days. And then it rains all day. And my back hurts. And part of me is cursing myself for a low-paying work commitment I'v taken on. But another part of me keeps telling myself I'll be ok, and that I will make it through the next week eating the beans and lentils I've got in my kitchen. And then, somehow, when I get home, I feel ok. I feel like I can make it through. And then, the next morning, I check my account and realize I under-estimated, and I'm going to be able to pay that bill.

Round, Spiral...

Hello, and Shana Tova!

This post will be on how I'm feeling this year about Rosh Hashana. I'll also be presenting some interesting information on holiday customs, legends and such.

Rosh Hashana. Shana Tova. Another year trying to care about something I don't really care much about. Trying to care about something I cling to desperately due to identity and self-acceptance issues... fear of rejection and all that stuff. I don't believe the year is 5771, because I don't believe the world was created less than 6,000 years ago. In fact, I suspect Jews started in with this 5,*** year old world business at some time in the recent past; I should learn more about this calendar business at some point.

Fun Things To Do On Rosh-Hashana

Hello dahhh-lings!

I have a longer, rambling post about Rosh-Hashana to put up later on, but for the moment I'll content myself with sharing a short, fun activity to try on Rosh-Hashana:

Walk into your local Chabad shul (synagogue) on the second day of New Year's dressed in business pants and patterned top with cleavage showing. Run into that nice lady you met a month ago at an Orthodox Kabbalat Shabbat when you were wearing a long-sleeved dress in the oppressive summer heat. Get that 'hey-I'm-trying-to-show-you-a-friendly-face-but-your-dress-and-clearly-un-halachically-stringent-manner-are-freaking-me-out' smile from her.